Archive for the month “September, 2012”

A RENDEZVOUS (Sunday, September 30, 2012)

”I came here all the way
To look into your eyes
And see through your soul

I traveled on the wings of the dove
Day turned into night
Night turned into day
Night turned into night
Dense clouds made it a ”nowhere”
Thunderstorms swept me off track
Lightnings burned my hands
Angry waves caught me by feet
To drag down into the Abyss
Desert sand beat my wounds like a million knives
I was ready to give up
To give in
The dove was ready
But I came here all the way
To look into your eyes
And see through your soul

Excuse me for my dirty and torn clothes
My dis-colored witch-like hair
I know
The scratches
Cuts and stab wounds
Some old and crusted
Some still fresh and bleeding
Add to my horrible appearance
Not a bit attractive
Let alone tolerable to watch
But I’m the same woman
Made of Water and Crystal
I’ll be fine once
I look into your eyes
And see through your soul”

A pathetic couple they appeared to be
Strolling along the shore of the Lake
In the Indian Reservation Area up North
He was big and stout
She was small and frail
In an autumn morning

The Sun noticed her while yawning and stretching
And called others for help
The Rain poured down
To wash away dirt and dried blood
Then the Sun took over
Warm and golden rays played with her hair
Clothes dried
Blood stopped oozing
Finally the Breeze gave kisses
To this small and frail lady

She held his arm to stop
And sit on a wooden bench nearby
Face to face
Hand in hand
Heart to heart
She looked into his eyes
Two big hollows they were
Two black holes
With no depth
The woman broke into pieces
And scattered on the green grass beneath
A million jewels smiled
To the New Day.

ECHOES IN THE NIGHT (Saturday, September 29, 2012)

I whispered your name
To the velvet night
The baby boy smiled in his dream
And rolled on his right
The budgie shivered
With the cold breeze
Kissing her feathers
A dog howled
In a distant street
Of a distant Nameless City
Thin and scabby
Looking for food
Looking for love
The bedroom light went off
After a rather long quarrel over
What he did
When he should not have
What he did not
When he should have
The man took the sofa
Cursing silently
On thoughts of the back pain the next day
Her stubbornness
And lack of trust in him
She curled up on the right side of the king-sized bed
Eyes full open
Staring into darkness
Nothing would be the same
She repeated to herself
The sun would rise as always
Office work as always
Tv at night as always
Another day it would be
Among thousands of days
A student asleep over his books
Coffee cup empty
Ashtray full of ash and butts
Of regrets
Of heartache
A woman in her late fifties
Still awake
Eyes reddened with weariness
Reddened with wine
Glass after glass
Refreshing the homepage of Facebook
Expecting a notification to pop up
A “like”
Someone to notice her presence
Someone to touch her loneliness
To wrap and rock her to sleep

I whispered your name
To the velvet night
After a long pause
The eagle owl responded
With a sarcastic voice:
“Go back to sleep, my dear
Go back”.

AS IT IS (Friday, September 28, 2012)

Everything happened
As it was supposed to
First the river froze
The heartbeat
I had tied
To the wing of the sparrow

Oh, my pretty baby
Oh, my smiling eyes
I didn’t break my promise

LEFT BEHIND (Thursday, September 27, 2012)

What is in me
In you
In others
Too much debris

Burned curtains and mattress
Charcoaled table
Resting against a wall
Hit by a wave of soot
Splashing on high rocks
Caught in that moment
And frozen
Photos in ashes
Settled on the ground
Like soil over a corpse
Some floating in the air
Going nowhere
Broken pieces of glass
Again sooted
Lying over the mattress
Lines and curves
Drawn by unskilled
Yet eager fingers
A coarse pattern of lace
To decorate
What is left

The smoke is gone
But my eyes are still sore
My mouth is dry
My lungs hurt
A heavy task
A heavy burden on the soul

Memories hide behind the doors
Waiting their turn to slap you in the face
Then place their relentless claws on your chest
To dig
And dig deeper
A black hole
Leading to nowhere
Insatiable thirst
To devour
What is in me
In you
In others

Too much debris
Too much.

A CHILDHOOD GAME (Wednesday, September 26, 2012)

“Let’s play a new game”
Said the oldest girl
“A brand new one
Something we set the rules
Simple and easy
But with lots of fun
What do you say?”

The other two jumped up
And clapped their hands in joy
“Yes! Yes!”
They exclaimed in chorus
“Bored of the playhouse and hopscotch
We’re ready!
How will it be?”

“A kind of competition”
Continued the oldest of the three
There wil be a set of things
Each of us will pick one
And try to persuade the remaining two
That hers is the best of all
Yes, a debate-like game
One problem though
How are we going to decide who is the best?
What if two or three of us get the same vote?”

“Let’s play and see
We’ll decide about that later
If we ever run into that trouble”
Interrupted the youngest
Her eyes as black as night
And as bright as distant stars
“After all
This is a game we invent
We’re free to change the rules
Anytime we want
Now let’s decide about the set of three
I have an idea
Why not start with a simple one?
Each will pick one and defend it”

After a short talk
They were able to decide who would defend what
With no further need to cast lots

” I am the Soil”
Started the oldest
“I give birth to flowers and trees
I feed you with my veggies and fruits
And I hold you firm on your feet
I am solid
I am dependable
The living come from me
And return to me in the end
Imagine a world without me
No, you can’t
I am the Naked Reality”

“I am the Air”
Continued the one in the middle
“You don’t see me
You don’t grasp me in your palms
Or step on me
But I carry the Light of Life
To the smallest cell in your body
I am invisible
I am the ever present
I blow life into the beings
Ad leave them when due
Imagine a world without me
No, you can’t
I am the Breath of Vitality

“I am the Water”
The youngest said hesitantly
“No solid form or invisibility
You can’t stand on me
I will embrace and take you down in this case
To where you yearn to be
I can rock you gently
Under the idle summer sun
Like a mother lullabying her baby
I’ll carry you away
Away from the house
You believe to be your “home”
Away from the strangers
Who live with you
Breathe with you
Sleep with you
Away from the job you do for a living
Tying up your hands
I’ll take you “away”
To where your dreams are your reality”

Having said all in turn
It was time for voting
After a brief silence
The oldest opened her mouth to speak
Only to be gulped down by Water gushing
From right and left
Front and back
The second girl was already far away
A spot in the horizon
Where the setting sun
Kissed the Ocean.

I DREAMT OF YOU LAST NIGHT (Tuesday, September 25, 2012)

What do dreams whisper?

Last night
I dreamt of you
For the first time
You looked smaller in size
More silent
Different from the man that I knew
Or believe that I knew
You were not repeating your words
Over and over
No effort to slip away
And hide behind them
While the core is in flames
Your hands would burn
That I understand
How can you touch the Reality otherwise?
How can you look in the mirror
When naked and alone
Look deeply and see?

I was standing outside your house
It was a small house but yours
The curtain was half open
Then I caught a glimpse of a man
A silhouette
He was brunette with balding head
A round face
Dark eyes
And a moustache
Not so characteristic
He appeared for a blink of an eye
And vanished
As if he never existed
One day you are there
The other day
Nothing remains after
A vapor mixing with the air
Scattering into its basic molecules
To travel over the mountains
Across the sea
Deep under the ground
To travel
With no destination
Nothing in mind

I knew who that man was
I asked you:
‘’Is that him?’’
You nodded
Yes he was
He was the man you killed
Many years ago.
Not a ghost
That I am sure
He looked so flesh and blood

That was the weight
You’ve been dragging along
The chain around your neck
To keep you bogged down
And enslaved

You knew very well
You can’t leave the City
Let alone the country
Yet you handed your papers
To be signed by your supervisors in the office
To apply for a passport
They would not let you go
Let you take even a single step out
Your co-workers shook their heads
As they watched you
It was an attempt in vain
They knew that
I knew that
You knew that

That was the weight
You’ve been dragging along
The chain around your neck
To keep you bogged down
And enslaved

Were you hopeful?
Or was it only a routine task
You felt you should do?
I have no idea
I don’t remember your face
Or your eyes
Either I didn’t look directly
Or you evaded
But my heart ached
My soul wept

I woke up
With a bitter taste
In my mouth
And a wounded sparrow
In my hands.

IN THE NAME OF (Monday, September 24, 2012)

Call my name
In the midst of crowds
Flowing in one direction
Behind flags
Red and white
Red blue and white
White and Orange
Yellow Red
All symbols of power
To make one feel strong
And proud of belonging to
What makes one better than the other
More respectful
A symbol to worship
A symbol to die for
Figures printed
On a piece of colored cloth
To kill in the name of

My body dissected in a million pieces
Blood oozing
A flag erected in each
Waving in the same direction
As the wind mourns

Call my name
In the midst of crowds
Oscillating vibrantly
Someone speaks out
At the top of his voice
They respond with slogans and applause
Words of freedom
Words of honor
Oaths to take the revenge of the fallen
Does it matter what he says?
Only the Words spoken out aloud
To die for
To kill in the name of

My body pierced with a million arrows
Blood oozing
A word attached to each
Waving in the same direction
As the wind mourns

Call my name
When all is dust
Bliwn away in the deserted field
To the depths of the Ocean.

AUTUMN CROCUSES (Sunday, September 23, 2012)

Let autumn crocuses grow on my grave
Delicate necks
Proud to support a realm of purple
Or white
Once bloomed
They bend elegantly
Ready to accept
The hand of the Prince
For the opening waltz
In the Castle of My Homeland
Far away
They whirl
They glide along with the music
As the torchlights accompany them
In the shadows
They come from nowhere
Go nowhere
Simply they are
”Time to sleep
Time to rest
In peace”

The cherry tree is shedding its leaves
So does the peach
Fruits grew
They ripened
Each left its taste in the mouths
As footprints in the snow
In one direction only
Withered leaves
Scattered on thick green grass
As casualties in a battlefield
Death upon life
Life upon death
Simply they are
”Time to sleep
Time to rest
In peace”

Colder at nights
One needs a blanket
To get under
Dive deeper and deeper
To find
The mouth of the whirlpool of dreams
A warm hug
A few words of affection
To melt the frozen tundra
Crack its surface
To reach out to meet
The weak golden smile
A reason to hold on
A reason to stand alone
The child cries
Pulling his mommy’s skirt
Not knowing why
The waves splash on his face
Simply they are
”Time to sleep
Time to rest
In peace”

The season of completion
The words have already been consumed
In their own flames
Raw emotions tamed and tied up
Deep in dark galleries
Hopes dissolved in water
Love is a distant word
That flickered away long ago
A thick crust covers the wounds
New and old
Mourns faded although mouths are still open
Eyes dried
Pain doesn’t hurt any longer
Joy doesn’t sparkle
What happened?
And why?
I can see them
Touch them
Simply they are
”Time to sleep
Time to rest
In peace”

Autumn crocuses on my grave.

HELLO GOOD-BYE (Saturday, September 22, 2012)

Once more
In the heights of the Black Sea mountains
A wooden cabin
A small entrance
Divan against the window
A blue and beige carpet
Laid diagonally on the floor
At the rear
A niche big enough
To fit a queen-size bed only
Bathroom in the hallway
Simple and clean
Falling asleep
While listening to the water
Pouring into a fish tank
Three tanks actually
Each watered by the preceding
Trouts inside
Big and small
Crocuses growing everywhere
The purple ones fully blown
The whites still shy and hesitant
The native residents call them “vargit”
– that is, “let’s go” flower –
Meaning, the fall has arrived
Time to go
Time to return to the lower plains

Humid cold bites my arms
The tabby tomcat rubs his head
Against my knee
Then hops I to my lap
Just like my Taffy
Hair coarser
Body leaner
Hungry for love
Would do anything to stay in my arms
Jumping over
And clawing my legs
Trying to bite through the jeans
As I decide to walk away

The pine trees tall and dark
Stand elegantly against a white background
Mist has settled on the farther peaks
Silhouettes from an unreal realm
At any minute
I expect to hear
One of Sibelius’ symphonic poems
En Saga or
The Swan of Tuonela
Blown down through the thick branches
It’s is exactly the place I dream myself
When I listen to them
The Homeland
Where my soul steps in

The group already left for an excursion
Nobody around
No engine hums
No human voices
I inhale the smell of the wooden cabin deeply
When I take a last look
A small entrance
Evan against the window
A blue and beige carpet
Laid diagonally on the floor

Now it’s raining harder
Crystal beads lined in strings
On their own
No added sentimentality or flashbacks
Emotionally unloaded
And free
I’s welcomed by the trees
And thick grass
Adorned with “vargit” flowers

Time to go
Time to return to the lower plains.

PANIC ATTACK (Saturday, September 22, 2012)

One-hour flight up to the North
Perfect for writing a poem
But a well-constructed one
About sublime emotions
Words hanging on branches
Like red ripe cherries
Kissed by the playful afternoon sun
On an idle day
In early summer
Then bathed in the silver pond
Where the full moon streamed
And caressed dry
As the morning breeze whispered a hymn
To the ears of the sparrow:
”A beautiful day it will be
A bright day
Pregnant to miracles”

As I sat in my seat
-5D it was –
If my poor memory does’t fool me –
I looked around
A few women on board
As far as I could see
Men of all types
All categories
Young and old
Slim and stout
Short and tall
Thick-haired and bald
In suit or casuals
Shaved clean or bearded
Smelling aftershave or stale sweat
Businessman or unemployed
All there
On the plane
Traveling to this northern city
To their loved ones
Or away from home
They sat silently in their seats
Lost in memories
To-do lists
Hopes and dreams
men of all types
All categories

I don’t know how it happened to me
And why
A sudden thought
Caught me off guard
”What if I were about to marry one of them?”
Rang loudly in my ears
Banged in my head
Transformed into an eagle’s claws
And grasped my heart firmly
Penetrating its sharp nails
Deeper and deeper
Blood dripping
Faster and faster
Life retreating
Farther and farther
No place to run away
No one to help me
My fate pre-determined
Drawn on the sky and the sea
Carved in granite rocks
Buried down in the lowest layer of solid ground
Encrusting the molten magma

I focused on my breathing
The grasp loosened
The claws set my poor battered heart free
I dismissed the bitter feeling
Metallic taste of blood in my mouth
With a deep out-breath released
And I closed my eyes
To soothe my soul

A nightmare it was
A nightmare.

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